Saturday, November 6, 2010

Dreaming

I want to tell a little story because I want to be able to look back on this post one day.

Kevin and I have been married for 9 years (will be 10 in May 2011) and for the past 9 years we have been trying to get pregnant. Growing up I always wanted to be a mother and be pregnant and feel that little baby growing inside of me. In 2004, I found out I had endometriosis and had laproscopic surgery to clean it out. The dr found more than he thought was in there but he said he got it all. I'm not out of the clear though. My dr said there's a chance it could come back. But 6 years later I don't have the pain I used to and I'm pretty sure it's gone now. So the dr put me on fertility meds for 1 year and still nothing. So in 2005-2006 we decided to just let nature take its course and if it happens, it will happen. And since then we just let nature take its course and now in November 2010 still no baby. I love when my friends get pregnant and I'm so happy for them but it breaks my heart. I've cried myself to sleep some nights or just went into the bathroom and broke out bawling because it hasn't happened. Its supposed to be me announcing I'm pregnant and let me tell you when I do find out I'm pregnant the whole wide world will know. I've been waiting almost my whole life to announce something like that, well besides the day I was getting married :)

So fast forward to current day November 2010 I just turned 29 (its kinda scary, haha) and after talking to my dr we decided to start the process again. I could never be more excited. This time I want to do everything I can to get pregnant. So if you can please send prayers my way I would appreciate it :) And this week at church the pastor is going to start a series called The Blessed Life. How appropriate is that?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

L.O.V.E.

I've been feeling a lot of emotions lately.
But with Halloween right around the corner I was getting anxious. I love Halloween.
I have always loved Halloween growing up because that meant my birthday was next
I love celebrating birthdays, whether its mine or Kevin's or someone in my family.
So of course like every year we start celebrating a few weeks early up until the day.
We went out a couple weekends ago with Kevin's family and we had a great time. The next day though not so great.
Then on Halloween night my mother in law made dinner and we had ice cream cake and the kiddos went off trick or treating while we stayed behind and passed out candy.
And let me tell you trick or treating in Michigan is colddd....normally it rains on Halloween night but this year it was just darn right cold.
Then on my birthday Monday Nov 1st I turned 29. Holy cow!
I know 29 isn't old but I'm going to be 30 next year.
And then you go through the "my life isn't what I thought it would be when I'm this age" sort of phase.
Yup, that's what I'm going through right now.
I knew I would be married at 29 but I also thought I would have 2-3 kids by now and have a successful career and so on.
But after taking a step back, I love my life and wouldn't have it any other way.
I have an amazing husband who loves me for me and will do anything for me.
And whether we have kids or not is not a big deal to him.
So on my birthday he took me to dinner and off to the mall :)
But I was sad at the end of the night when I couldn't find 1 thing to buy. That is so unlike me.
So last night I went out shopping with a girlfriend and ended up spending $150. So now I'm a happy girl!
I love celebrating birthdays!