Our Journey

More road bumps...

2012-02-06T20:14:00.000-05:00

When they say that life gives you plenty of hurdles, boy were they right.
Life is not perfect and I am one example of that
Being on clomid 50mg for 3 mths I figured I would get pregnant, well apparently the clomid isn't working as I didn't ovulate this month...
I went in last Friday and they said my follicles were less than 8 and I knew I didn't ovulate. I took my ovulation predictor kits and I should have started testing positive starting Saturday but Saturday came and it was negative. Then Sunday came and it was negative again so I knew this month it wasn't going to happen. This happened to me about 6 mths ago so not everyone ovulates every month. I went back to the doctor this morning for another ultrasound to see if they grew and they were less than 10 so it was confirmed I didn't ouvlate. The nurse called to give me the great news (insert sarcastic voice here) and tell me the doctor wanted me to come in 3 days for another ultrasound just to be sure but my awesome insurance (another sarcastic voice) doesn't pay for my ultrasounds I have to pay out of pocket and at $200 a pop that would be my third in a week so $600 I told her it wasn't necessary and I would cancel this cycle. So I have to wait for my period to start so I can start all over again. I'm waiting to hear back from my insurance as I am not sure if they pay for ultrasounds but I heard if my doctor labels it infertility then the insurance won't pay until I reach my deductible which is $500. Oy vey!

I am so glad I am documenting every single part of my journey good or bad. I wasn't going to but I want my future baby to know what I went through to conceive them and how much they will truly be loved by their parents. I am starting a little story about how Kevin and I met and the bumps we went through to get where we are today in our relationship. In May we will be married 11 years and the end of February we started dating 13 years ago. This is obviously the longest relationship I have ever had and couldn't be happier.

On a positive note we went to church yesterday for the first time in a long time and it felt great. As soon as I walked to my seat it felt good to be their again and I got a little emotional. We were standing up and singing and tears were just rolling down my face. I don't know why I was getting so emotional but it was happy tears. The message of the day was Grace (my church) was a healing place. And man by the end of it I knew that we went yesterday for a reason. I've been up and down in my struggles and needing that message to know that I needed healing and church was the right place to be. I even brought my dad with me for the first time and he loved it. He said he will definitely go back.

ugh...

2012-02-03T18:39:00.000-05:00

So went in for my ultrasound this morning to see how my follicles were growing and the ultrasound tech told me that I had a few but they were less than 8. I am so confused. last cycle I had 2 at 16 and the month prior I had 3 bigger than 16 so why this month they were less than 8, I dont understand. So as usual as soon as I walked out the door I bawled my eyes out and called my husband. He of course calmed me down and told me to wait for the nurse to call to explain further. So I waited for her phone call and she called to tell me after talking to the doctor they want me to come back on Monday which will be cd16 for me. I always ovulate cd14 but nurse said don't worry. So if I go back Monday and they didn't grow then they were canceling this month :( so sad. So praying that they grow by Monday and we can do IUI.

So much on my mind

2012-02-02T10:57:00.000-05:00

I've had a lot on my mind lately....

I'm currently going to school for business management but working for my current company I've decided I don't want to work in an office environment anymore, I want to get out there and help people and be moving non stop and constantly be busy. So after some careful consideration I've decided to change my major. I'm going tomorrow to talk to a counselor about this program I'm interested in. There's a few stipilations though. 1. you need a 3.6 gpa to get into program. ok I have a 3.65 now so if I hold strong and keep at it I'm sure I'll do fine. 2. there's a 2-3 yr waiting list to get into this program. I think I can handle that since I have to take pre-requisites and it might take me that long to finish those. And I will be completely changing careers from business to medical. Then there's that thought in the back of my head saying, your 30 you still have 3-4 yrs of school left by the time your done say you'll be 35. Is that to old to start a new career? Plus I'm trying to get pregnant so if I do get pregnant that might hold me back a while. But I'm not going to stop until I get the career I want!

I've also decided to quit my photography business. My heart is not into it anymore. I used to love doing it and going on photoshoots but now it just seems to take up all my extra time. So therefore I will be selling most of my stuff that I have left and maybe my fancy camera and getting something cheaper. I'm not sure yet. I won't need a fancy camera for just hobby stuff and if I have kids one day I will need something nice for that. Plus during the summer my hubby and I enjoy riding motorycles together and I love to spend all my free time with him. I don't want to spend my free time after work behind the computer for hours on end and then kicking myself in the butt for not spending time with him. My philosophy is you never know what's going to happen tomorrow and I don't want to regret anything. This was a hard decision for me.

Tomorrow is my ultrasound appt to check my follicles and hoping to do my 2nd IUI this weekend! Praying tmrw goes well :)

Living life one day at a time

2012-01-31T07:46:00.000-05:00

I've had some few emotional days lately.
Wondering why this is happening to me, what did I deserve to not be able to conceive a child for my husband. Is it because were selfish and we've gone this long without kids so punish us...so many thoughts go through my head and I know I can't think negative I know that but I still do. Its hard not to. I sit there and think about my feelings and don't think how this is affecting my husband. He gets upset with me and tells me that the one thing I want so badly he can't give me. I never realized it hurt him just as much as it hurts me. I know I'm the one going to the doctor's offices and getting the results but we are a pair and what affects me affects him as well.

I just got off clomid for 5 days. I take it at night now so I sleep off the side effects. I go in on Friday for my ultrasound to check my follicles and hoping to do my 2nd IUI this weekend or early next week. And praying like never before that this is it...

I received a phone call out of the blue on Sunday. It was from a friend from high school that we talked over the years on Facebook but she ended up closing her account and I lost her number and couldn't get a hold of her. But then I ended up closing my Facebook account and another friend was worried about me so contacted her to find out if she heard from me. So she called me to see how I was doing. She knows I have been ttc for some time now and wanted to check in on me. I thought this was the nicest thing anyone has ever done. Not very often does someone call you to see how you were doing. Anyways, we talked for 45 mins and talked about her struggling ttc and getting pregnant twice and losing the babies to trying again and the struggles I've been going through. Its nice to talk to someone who is going through the same thing as you. Its hard to talk to someone who has no idea what it's like to struggle to get pregnant and have to explain all the different procedures and medications your doing or on. And I'm an emotional person anyways so to talk about this is difficult for me. I don't always share my feelings but no one besides my husband has no idea how bad I just want to become a mother and I can't. Being around children is difficult for me knowing I'm having such a hard time. Going to baby showers is even more difficult. I love all my nieces and nephews like you will never believe but I envy my sister, brother and sister in laws for being able to have children so easily. And they have no idea the struggles I've been through.

Words that hurt...

2012-01-21T15:02:00.001-05:00

Not so good news...

2012-01-21T14:35:00.000-05:00

Well I went in for my blood test yesterday and received a call that it was negative. I was so heartbroken and I was sitting in a restaurant with my nephew and good thing because I almost broke down. I feel like I have done everything I possible could and still no positive pregnancy test. I feel like this is all my fault and wonder what else could be wrong. The doctors say that everything is fine but if we are not getting pregnant than what. I am so mad and upset and wish I could just snap my fingers and get pregnant. Kevin keeps telling me its out of my control and there's nothing I can do and stop stressing about it. I'm glad that he gets happy and sad with me and understands what I'm going through. He was really bummed when I told him the news. So now I'm just waiting for my period to start so we can start a new cycle of hormones, mood swings, ultrasounds, blood work and being poked and prodded :)

If anyone is interested I also bought Vitex and Maca Root and going to start taking these. Vitex is a vitamin, does not contain hormones and to promote fertility. And of course there are side effects so I'll have to keep an eye on it. Maca Root is a vitamin as well and does not contain hormones. It helps with infertility and comes from the root of a turnip grown in Ecuador and Peru. It also helps men with their sperm count and mobility. So women if your men have problems have them try this vitamin. They say men should take 1,500-3,000 mg a day. Here's more info on it: http://www.livestrong.com/article/350433-benefits-of-maca-root-on-fertility/. I'm so excited to start trying both of these and have Kevin start taking maca root. You never know this may be what we've been missing :)

Have a great weekend!

here we go again...

2012-01-15T18:31:00.000-05:00

Here I am again in the dreaded 2 week wait. I went to the doctor on Saturday to check my progesterone levels and again they are above 20. And that's a good thing. If they were less than 20 then I would have to be on medication. So I go back next Friday to to my beta blogs test. This month my symptoms haven't been that bad. I've had mood swings really. Crying for no reason just get upset. I took my clomid at night this month to hopefully sleep off the symptoms and so far so good. This month I took clomid cycle days 5-9 and had my ultrasounds last Saturday and did my trigger shot of ovidrel on Sunday night. Praying tons that this is my month and I feel positive and know it will be.

Speed Bumps

2012-01-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

Life wouldn't be life if there weren't any speed bumps
My Christmas was great. Spent christmas morning at my sister in laws opening presents and then came home so family could enjoy the holidays at our house.
I was supposed to go in for my beta blood test 2 days after christmas. On Christmas day I wasn't feeling that great and had a feeling something was wrong. I woke up and went shopping the day after Christmas and knew something was wrong, went to the bathroom and the dreaded period showed up. I was so bummed. So I can officially say our first IUI had failed. But I didn't dread over it, I grieved a little bit but needed to move on.

Fast forward to this month and we decided to move forward with trying it again.
I went in on CD3 for ultrasound to make sure I was ok to take clomid again this month and I was so I started that CD5. I went in for another ultrasound on CD13 which was this past weekend and I have 2 follicles on each side measuring at 16mm and they grow about 2 mm a day. I took my trigger shot of Ovidrel Sunday night and we aren't going to do IUI this month. Were just going to do timed intercourse and see how that works. If for whatever reason we have to do this again next month were going to try IUI again but I have a feeling this is my month! I also started doing ovulation predictor kits again and today I got that I was ovulating so this is it...today's the day! I go in this Saturday for my progesterone blood work to make sure I ovulated. Praying that I get high numbers and that I ovulated.

I also start school this week so at least I will have something to keep my mind occupied.

I will post more when I go on Saturday until then have a great week :)

2ww

2011-12-22T09:40:00.000-05:00

As most of you know that are trying to conceive know the pressure and torture of the 2 week wait. The time after ovulation until your period. And most of you know that it's so much torture, getting all the fantasy symptoms of being pregnant until the 2 weeks is up and you get your period. That's the most depressing time ever. But then you realize hey its just not my month and you go through that process all over again.

I am officially in my 2ww and its horrible. I've been getting all the symptoms and of course I know its just my body screwing with me. I've been always quick to hope for the best and then get crushed at the end so this time I'm just going to keep thinking negative that way I don't get that heartbroken if the test is negative. I'm sick of getting crushed and my heart broken. I hope this is my month but I don't know what will happen.

Monday Test Results

2011-12-20T18:15:00.000-05:00

Went for my progesterone test results and nurse called Monday afternoon to tell me my test results were normal so that's good :) Their lab only goes up to 20 and they said it came back higher than 20...I'm so excited. Today is Tuesday so I have exactly one week to go before I find out if I'm preggo or not...I'm so excited but nervous at the same time. We are prepared to do this again if the first time doesn't work but we have high hopes and hope it works the first time.

Family Pictures 2011

2011-12-18T19:17:00.000-05:00

We had family pictures taken again this year, last time we had them done was in 2009. Being a photographer I know how important it is to have family pictures taken every year and I vow to have them done every year. I like to have pictures for my kids to look at 50 years from now. My ever so talented sister in law took these for us and I am so happy. They are already hanging around my house :)

Test Results

2011-12-17T16:13:00.000-05:00

I went in to see my fertility specialist on Thursday to get all my test results and she said everything looks great. The only problem is there's a problem with my thyroid and I have to take medication to get it under control. Normal thyroid is 4.5 and to get pregnant it has to be under 3.0 and of course mine is at 3.5 so taking meds is the right choice. I go back in for blood work in 3 weeks to see if the meds work or not. I go back in on Monday to check my progesterone to make sure I ovulated and there's enough progesterone to carry a pregnancy. I will update on Monday once I get my blood work done.

I love letting everyone know my progress. If you have specific questions that you want to ask me feel free to email me at ericayoung01@yahoo.com :)

A whole new blog and a whole new me....

2011-12-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

I have many philosophys about life and I try to follow every single one of them.
I do say "life is to short, live like there's no tomorrow."
So since I have turned 30 last month I realize I'm not getting any younger.
I've been trying to get pregnant since I was pretty much 19 when I got married to my husband but really been trying for the past 7 years. I've had a few hiccups as well as my husband but nothing that we can't handle.
So 2 days after I turned 30 I saw my doctor and told him he needs to refer me to a fertility specialist.
I made an appt and got in a couple of weeks later.
My insurance covers only 1 IUI per lifetime but of course it ended at the end of 2011 so my fertility specialist decided we should do it while the insurance covers it.
I went in last week and got bloodwork done to check my thyroid and several other things.
I then went on clomid for 5 days and then on Monday I went and got an ultrasound done to check my follicles. They said I had 3 follicles measuring 16, 17 and 19 (normal is 18). They also said since I have 3 follicles that gives me a chance to conceive multiples...ahhhh! So it was time for my IUI. I went home that night and shot myself with Ovidrel. I'm really afraid of needles and was going to have my hubby do it but I took control and did it myself. It hurt for a second but otherwise it was ok.
So today Wednesday December 14th I went in for my first IUI and it went great.
I am now laying on my couch trying not to move and going to take it easy for the next 2 weeks.
I am excited but nervous and like anyone else has doubts but trying to stay positive and know this will work. There's a 25% chance the first IUI works but I have high hopes and know it will stick.

I am hear to document my experience with infertility and hope it helps someone else out there. I also want to look back on this to show my kids someday what I went through to get pregnant with them.

I also finished school last week, I got a B in my algebra class and an A in my management supervision class, so yay to me. I also got on the Dean's List again. Its nice to know when you pay for school you try your best to achieve.

I will update soon :)

Countdown to my birthday...

2011-09-23T13:47:00.000-04:00

There are 38 days until my 30th birthday...
you would think one that is turning 30 would be happy
well everyone but me
I'm happy I'm turning a year older but kind of having a mid life crisis
going through my life trying to figure out what I should have accomplished by now
Gone to college, have kids, be married, have a successful career
I am happily married, I'm going to college now and were trying to have kids.
I'm attending college to have a successful career so I can' say my life isn't all that bad
I own my house, drive a nice car, own a motorcycle and have food in my fridge oh and a husband who is deeply, madly in love with me as I am with him
so I guess there isn't much to complain about
So back to my 30th birthday...
If you've been reading my blog over the years you would know that I love celebrating birthdays
whether my own or my husbands
And usually I have planned out months in advance what we are doing to celebrate but this year I'm slacking
I've had the last 3 months off of school and enjoying every single moment of it
I go back next week and between school, work, taking care of the house and my photography business I won't have time to plan anything
But I'm sure I'll come up with something

Happy First day of Fall...my favorite season!

Trying to Understand...

2011-08-11T09:52:00.000-04:00

Trying to understand why things work the way they do...
Their are people out there who have kids and don't take care of them
People who don't want kids and get pregnant
And there's people like me who really, really want kids and can't get pregnant
We've been actively trying for almost 6 years now and nothing
I had problems, got them fixed then recently found out hubby has problems and just last month got them fixed
Doctor said 2/3 of his patients that had this surgery end up getting pregnant
Reading forums and discussions online people have said they have gotten pregnant 2-3 mths after their spouse had this surgery
Well its just been 1 mth and like any other woman who is actively trying to get pregnant and nothing has happened yet needless to say I am devastated
I know its only been a month but I was hoping it was my month
Hubby just tells me we will keep trying and don't give up
I don't want to give up but its so hard to keep seeing that negative sign on the test
But its now a new month and I need to keep my head high and pray that everything will be ok and one day I will finally become a mother

Summer Break....

2011-07-07T08:05:00.000-04:00

Wow, I've been MIA since March 30th.
A lot has been going on in my life.
I finished my second semester at school and received an A and a B+ and made the Dean's List again. My GPA is 3.67, I couldn't be prouder of myself.
I am now on summer break and man did I need it. I was getting burned out.

Kevin and I have decided to try to become foster parents. The state of Michigan has a ton of foster kids and we decided since we are having problems getting pregnant why not help the kids out there that need it.
We want to provide a loving home to them and love them as they should be loved. Its not their fault their parents gave up on them or have problems of their own and can't take care of them.
We turned in our application last night and now we wait 4-6 wks to get approved by the state. In the meantime we have to attend 2-8 hr classes of training and get finger printed and background checks and lots and lots of paperwork. I am so excited about this next chapter in our lives.

Next week Kevin has surgery and praying this fixes our problems on trying to get pregnant. The doctor said 2/3 of his patients that has this surgery it fixes it and they get pregnant. So please send prayers our way.

I am off for a few days next week so Kevin and I are going camping by ourselves for 4 days. We really need this time away just the 2 of us. Especially if we are planning on bringing a child into the house this might be the last time we get away by ourselves.

This summer I plan on slowing down on my photography business to spend more time with Kevin. Last summer I was so busy I never got time to spend with him. I want to do as much as we can as money and time allows. I start school up at the end of September so I have 2 more months of freedom before I get jammed back up in homework and papers.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Summer!

Ahhhhhh......

2011-03-30T21:28:00.000-04:00

I can't believe how long its been since I last posted but man oh man has my life been busy.

I don't even know where I left off and don't feel like saving this post and going back to look haha.

So I will just start from here.....

I am done with my first semester of school and drum roll please......

I am on the Dean's List :) YAY!!!!! I got an A in my one class and an A- in my other class! I am so relieved and so ecstatic.

I am supposed to start next semester next week but I will have my feet in the sand and margaritas in my hand in Myrtle Beach :) I am so looking forward to a vacation with my family. We actually surprised Kevin for his 30th birthday which was yesterday, but we told him 2 weeks ago and he was speechless when we told him. But so excited we are going. There will be 6 adults and 5 kids going. We leave this Saturday morning and won't return until the following weekend. I'm kind of disappointed that I will be missing my first week of school but I'll get over it.

My diet isn't going that great. I've tried to exercise, eat right and nothing is working. I even signed back up at my gym and was going everyday until my great grandma passed away last week and I got consumed with everything funeral related and haven't been back. I will go back when I return from vacation. I'm not giving up.

As I said above my great grandma 84 years young passed away suddenly last week and the whole family is devastated. We knew with her age it was coming but we had no idea it was coming up this quick. She will always be in our hearts and will never be forgotten!

This picture was taken Christmas 2009 I think.

Okay I'm off to go and pack and get ready for my trip! Have a great week and see you all when I get back :)

Breakdowns

2011-02-20T20:52:00.000-05:00

I have been in my own lil world lately
I have been busy with school and work then coming home and cooking dinner, cleaning up, laundry, getting my lunch ready for the next day, I'm working out on a daily basis....whew...
I never get a break...rarely.
Hubby is going on his 3rd week off of work and unemployment is of no help. They've been screwing us around left and right, so needless to say we've been living off my income and that...not so fun.

I have been on my diet 8 weeks and have lost 11 lbs :) yay me. I just started measuring so not sure about my measurements but I've lost a ton. I hate posting pictures of myself but I just wanted to show my accomplishments so far and I'm really proud of myself.

I've been watching what I've been eating...no fast food, no soda, no junk food (well every once in a while) my #1 issue is I don't deprive myself of my favorite things. If I want something that bad I will have a bite and give the rest to hubby and I'm good. I still have a long way to go...30 lbs to be exact but I'm finally on the right track.

I will be done with my first semester in 4 weeks, I get 2 weeks off then back at it again for another 10 weeks. Thus far I am getting a B+ in both my math and english class. And I hope to keep it the same or raise them by the end of the semester.

I will be going to my doctor this week to hopefully get this process moving to help me conceive. This past week I found out two old friends of mine are both pregnant. One is married and the other single. I am so happy for them but so heartbroken and upset. I literally know of 6 ppl having babies this year and its disappointing. I am such an emotional wreck as it is and hearing that news didn't help any. My heart hurts very much and it feels like I have no one to turn to.

I have an hour to do homework and my week is so busy this week so off to homework land I go and have a great week friends :)

Lost in this world called Life...

2011-01-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

School-

Busy is a word used by me several, several times lately
I haven't blogged much because I barely have time to myself lately
I started school...I'm in my 3rd week going into my 4th week
I'm taking 2 classes a week and they are 4 hrs each class...ugh :(
Classes are 10 wks long and even though they just started, I'm ready for them to be over
I decided that I needed a jump start for my career so going back to school and getting my associates was the best decision I ever made
Once I'm done with my associates degree which should take no longer than 3 yrs max I'm moving onto my bachelors
Its kinda scary of me back in school but since I've been back my brain is loving all this new stuff I'm learning
Your brain really needs stimulation and my brain really loves being challenged.
Even at work I feel I do my best when I'm challenged and somewhat under pressure
And I'm glad I'm writing about this so in a few years when I'm done with school I can look back and read how I felt when I first went back to school.
I might think differently then :)

My Lifestyle Change-

I've been on my "diet" I mean lifestyle change for 33 days and have lost 10 lbs already
I am so proud of myself
I started counting my calories and what I put into my mouth
Everyone is responsible for their own actions and I was the first to blame my eating habits on other people
I got this way on my own and I need to be the first one to fix it
So after changing my eating habits and counting calories I say I'm doing great
I haven't even worked out either...again busy, busy and no time to work out
I'm doing it the healthy way and before I know it I will be at my goal weight and I will know exactly what to do to keep my weight at that healthy weight
Also, if I want something that badly I just take 1 bite and give the rest to hubby and that satisfys my temptation, its so great

I am off to do homework...have a great weekend :)

Reality has set in...

2011-01-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

I have said this before and I'm going to say it again...people really treat you differently when you don't have kids. And most of the time...unfortunately its family.

I am not a private person...I do say some things especially on Facebook that I should keep to myself but I don't. I like to share what I'm going through with other people who are going through the same thing as I. I posted something on facebook one night and woke up the next morning to 3 emails from people I went to high school with that are going through the same thing as I and had no fear in sharing their story. I explained my story and all the up to date information. I want people to learn from me and maybe we can share our stories and who knows maybe bring us closer together.

I am not only going through not being able to conceive but I'm also struggling with my weight. I have always been a skinny kid growing up, always outside playing. My parents never allowed us to stay inside and watch tv, which was a good thing. I also grew up for a few years out in the country so I had to walk everywhere or ride my bike. I was fine up until I was a senior in high school and had a car and got a sit down job at a desk. Then I got married at 19 and it went downhill from there. I lost 60 lbs 2 years ago but it slowly creeped back on. Not sure why I didn't catch it earlier but I didn't. So fast forward to current day and I am back on Weight Watchers and started last week and weighed in on Monday and lost 4 lbs...YAY!! I have 50 lbs to lose in 5 mths. I am not only eating better but exercising on a daily schedule.

2010...

2011-01-02T13:21:00.000-05:00

2010 was a good year. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst.
I have a feeling 2011 will be a good year for Kevin and I.
Christmas Eve we had family over at my house and had a good time. Watched my niece and nephews open presents. Then Christmas Day we spent at Kevin's sisters house and watched all of my nieces and nephews open their gifts. It was a good time. Reminded me of the time we lived with them almost 5 yrs ago and watched the kids christmas morning. We had some good times.
New Years Eve was eventful. Started out good but didn't end so well. I hope that isn't how the rest of the year is going to be...

I started my diet a week ago and have been doing very well. I am walking on the treadmill 5 days a week starting out at 20 mins and working my way up 5-10 mins each week. I don't want to get bored so I'm trying to mix it up. I am starting out with mini goals monthly and hope to be at my goal weight by May. My first mini goal is to lose 10 lbs by Feb. 1st.

Happy New Year!!

Bed Rest....

2010-12-07T14:38:00.000-05:00

I'm supposed to be resting.
But I've been resting on the couch for 5 days now....
I'm not the type of person to just sit still.
I had my surgery last week Thursday and it went really good.
I have my follow up with the doctor this Friday so I'll find out the real truth.
So since last Thursday I've been on the couch watching tv, movies, my DVR whatever I can find on tv.
On Sunday I felt a lil better and Kevin was outside working so I decided to get up and clean around the house, just a lil and it was a bad mistake. Kevin came in and told me to get back on the couch and not get up...booo!
So I went back to work today, felt good but once I got to work I got chills, which I've been experiencing the past few nights, not really sure why. And my stomach was just a mess. Pains all over the place. So I left and came home and slept for 3 hours. I needed it. So I just wanted to update real quick and now I have to get back on the couch and relax.
We also went to the doctor last night for Kevin and it's not looking real good. The doctor can put him on medication but can take up to 6 mths to work. But we've been waiting 10 yrs so what's another 6 mths!

But I have a feeling 2011 is going to be a fantastic year!

I'm So Thankful....

2010-12-04T12:31:00.000-05:00

A lil late than never right.....

So much to be thankful for...
a hubby who deeply cares and loves me oh so much
a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my tummy.
a job, a car and family that will do anything for me and hubby.

I love having things to be thankful for....

Dreaming

2010-11-06T09:07:00.000-04:00

I want to tell a little story because I want to be able to look back on this post one day.

Kevin and I have been married for 9 years (will be 10 in May 2011) and for the past 9 years we have been trying to get pregnant. Growing up I always wanted to be a mother and be pregnant and feel that little baby growing inside of me. In 2004, I found out I had endometriosis and had laproscopic surgery to clean it out. The dr found more than he thought was in there but he said he got it all. I'm not out of the clear though. My dr said there's a chance it could come back. But 6 years later I don't have the pain I used to and I'm pretty sure it's gone now. So the dr put me on fertility meds for 1 year and still nothing. So in 2005-2006 we decided to just let nature take its course and if it happens, it will happen. And since then we just let nature take its course and now in November 2010 still no baby. I love when my friends get pregnant and I'm so happy for them but it breaks my heart. I've cried myself to sleep some nights or just went into the bathroom and broke out bawling because it hasn't happened. Its supposed to be me announcing I'm pregnant and let me tell you when I do find out I'm pregnant the whole wide world will know. I've been waiting almost my whole life to announce something like that, well besides the day I was getting married :)

So fast forward to current day November 2010 I just turned 29 (its kinda scary, haha) and after talking to my dr we decided to start the process again. I could never be more excited. This time I want to do everything I can to get pregnant. So if you can please send prayers my way I would appreciate it :) And this week at church the pastor is going to start a series called The Blessed Life. How appropriate is that?

L.O.V.E.

2010-11-04T08:11:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling a lot of emotions lately.
But with Halloween right around the corner I was getting anxious. I love Halloween.
I have always loved Halloween growing up because that meant my birthday was next
I love celebrating birthdays, whether its mine or Kevin's or someone in my family.
So of course like every year we start celebrating a few weeks early up until the day.
We went out a couple weekends ago with Kevin's family and we had a great time. The next day though not so great.
Then on Halloween night my mother in law made dinner and we had ice cream cake and the kiddos went off trick or treating while we stayed behind and passed out candy.
And let me tell you trick or treating in Michigan is colddd....normally it rains on Halloween night but this year it was just darn right cold.
Then on my birthday Monday Nov 1st I turned 29. Holy cow!
I know 29 isn't old but I'm going to be 30 next year.
And then you go through the "my life isn't what I thought it would be when I'm this age" sort of phase.
Yup, that's what I'm going through right now.
I knew I would be married at 29 but I also thought I would have 2-3 kids by now and have a successful career and so on.
But after taking a step back, I love my life and wouldn't have it any other way.
I have an amazing husband who loves me for me and will do anything for me.
And whether we have kids or not is not a big deal to him.
So on my birthday he took me to dinner and off to the mall :)
But I was sad at the end of the night when I couldn't find 1 thing to buy. That is so unlike me.
So last night I went out shopping with a girlfriend and ended up spending $150. So now I'm a happy girl!
I love celebrating birthdays!

untitled...

2010-09-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

I wrote this a few days ago but never published the post...

I have to many emotions right now
I haven't had a good nights sleep in 2 wks
I'm a light sleeper as it is, just now I have anything and everything running through my mind
I am not a fan of naps, but everyday for the past week I've gone home after work and taken a nap.
Yesterday I fell asleep at 7:30pm and slept all night until 6am this morning.
I so needed that.
I'm not sure where life's going to take us but I'm excited and ready for the challenge.
Kevin and I have been through this before and lived through it, so I know we'll be fine.

Until today, Friday I look in my bank account and there's no unemployment money :(
We have a tiny little bit saved that we can use for bills right now until it hits our account but not sure how long we can survive
Thankfully it's the weekend and I have a lot to look forward too.

Happy Friday!

This roller coaster of a ride called Life...

2010-09-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

I just don't even know where to begin.
Last week I was super excited that Kevin and I booked a trip for our anniversary next year.
Then Friday rolls around and BAM....Kevin gets fired.
It's partially his own fault, which he is taking full responsibility for but it's devastating.
Don't even know if he can collect unemployment (we applied for it on Monday, just waiting)
Not sure how were going to pay our bills :( My check won't cover everything.
And to top it off I'm really, really slow in my photography that I'm thinking about pulling the plug entirely.
I am just stuck in the midle and have nowhere to turn.
I don't like to talk to people face to face. Well to talk in general I don't like.
So I keep everything inside until one day I just blow up and let it all out.
I know I need to stop doing that I just don't know how.
I need help...

Exciting News...

2010-08-31T13:24:00.000-04:00

Well it's not what your thinking of but it's still exciting.
Next year Kevin and I will be celebrating 10 yrs of marriage.
Holy Cow!
And if you know us, we are just as surprised as everyone else. Just kidding. But seriously we never would have thought we would make it that far.
And to be honest I love rubbing it in people's faces that told us we will never make it.
Especially since we got married at 19.
So to celebrate and since we never went on a honeymoon, I booked us a fabulous trip.
5 nights, 6 days at this awesome resort!
I am so excited....and just counting down!

And a couple of weekends ago I went to the local university because they were having fan day.
My college football phenomenon started a few yrs ago when my dad and I started going to games together.
And now it's become an annual thing-just the 2 of us until last year Kevin joined us and he had a blast.
So a few weekends ago we attended fan day where we could walk on the field, meet the players and so on. But the lines were to long to meet the players so we just walked the field.
You can check out my photos here.

And last but not least.
I've been doing my weight loss challenge and since I'm taking that fabulous vacation in less than 9 mths I need to get in shape.
So since doing my diet I've lost 2.1 lbs going on 3 wks now.
I'm going to the gym a lot more and following Weight Watchers.
It's been a little rough but nothing I can't handle.

Busy

2010-08-05T20:46:00.000-04:00

Oh man...time flies when your having fun.
Well I last posted that I was going to be doing a weight loss challenge and man let me tell you doing it by yourself is very hard. You try to inspire yourself but it's very difficult. So I talked to some girls I work with and were doing it together. Having a little friendly competition. We are starting on Tuesday of next week, we are weighing each other at work so no one cheats. I really don't mind having other people see what I weigh as long as it's the girls and not the guys. So we are going to lock the scale as well as our weights up so no one sees them. And we are doing this for 8 wks. I have a wedding to attend to Labor Day weekend and I want to look good....what else can a girl ask for ;)

Kevin and I are going to try date nights again to help us in our relationship. Everything's going great but we need to get out of this house. I've been working full time as well as my photography full time, things have quieted down a bit on that front but I'm still busy. Thankfully I'm finishing up a wedding now and don't have any sessions planned until another wedding in October. So we should have some free time together, which we need :)

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Weight Loss Thursdays

2010-07-08T08:12:00.000-04:00

I have decided to do a new challenge for myself. 2008 I lost all this weight and slowly last year I gained some of it back. I'm starting to not fit into my pants anymore and I'm sick of buying new ones to only lose weight and not be able to wear the new pants after a few months. So starting today for the next 12 weeks I am on a Weight Watchers lifestyle change. I did Weight Watchers previously and lost 30 lbs so I know I can do it again, If I just put my mind to it.

So....here are my stats:

Today: 7/8/10 Weight 163
Goal by Oct 1. Weight 130 (12 wks)

I want to be held accountable for my actions and I plan to post on a weekly basis my weight loss and hopefully not but my weight gain.

Thanks for all your support!

I love change...

2010-07-01T13:25:00.000-04:00

There's been a few changes around the Young household lately.
I am so very proud of my husband. He has been contemplating a few things lately and finally made a decision. I have complete and total faith in him.
We've had some ups and downs in our relationship lately and both sat down and talked about our issues and we are getting over them slowly. I can't wait to see where this leads us.
We stopped going to church a few mths back but have decided to start going again. And very proud that my husband has decided to make that change.
Last weekend we went to the movies to see Grown Ups with Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James and other people. We had the best time ever. It was nice to get away even if it was only for a few hours.
We are going to try to do date night once a week again...let's see how that goes.

Our house is in shambles again. We put a deck on the front of the house, had a waterfall put in the back of the house and now we are doing some remodeling to our backyard driveway. We are adding a sidewalk to the garage off the back deck and more cement in a couple other places. I will add some before/after pictures once it's completed.

I have a 3 day weekend coming up for the 4th and can't wait! I hope everyone has a great weekend :)

Holy Moly....

2010-06-01T17:23:00.002-04:00

My life has been so busy these past few months. We have had project after project and family events everywhere.

I am posting pictures of the biggest projects we have done this past month and that's built a new deck in the front of our house and my mother in law built us a waterfall in the back. It is awesome. And just yesterday my hubby put it on a remote control to turn it on and off, its so cool.

Check it out...

Don't pay attention to the christmas lights and it's dark I forgot to get a before picture before all the big bushes were ripped out of my front yard. But this is before...

After the bushes being ripped out...

Taking all the dirt away...

And the finished product....

My waterfall before...

My waterfall after...

And of course I had to get some of my puppies

I can never get them to sit like this for me...EVER!

Aren't they so darn cute.

9 Happy, Wonderful Years

2010-05-06T21:21:00.000-04:00

So sad I've been slacking on updating my blog.
Yesterday May 5th, aka Cinco de Mayo was my 9th wedding anniversary.
I remember the day I married Kevin.
I was 19, totally head over heels in love.
I was nervous, giddy, excited, nervous, happy, emotional and did I mention nervous.
I hate being the center of attention.
But my wedding day was all about me and I kind of liked that.
Kevin and I were dating since my junior year of high school and 2 years later we were married.
We've had our ups and downs, flips and somersaults but without lots of prayer we wouldn't be where we are today.
We both have jobs, a house we own, cars to drive, food on the table and clothes on our back.
The only thing missing is children. But I know someday, somehow that will happen. I always said when God is ready to give me children, he will make it happen. I have faith!
I am more in love with him today than the day we walked down that aisle together.
Everyone told us getting married so young, we wouldn't last. Well right about now I want to say...boo ya! Haha....
We celebrated last night by going out to an awesome dinner and just loved being together.
Next year is our 10th anniversary and I plan on making it huge. Well I hope to at least renew our vows and have another great party like our 1st wedding.

{Blessed}

2010-04-22T21:01:00.000-04:00

I have never felt so blessed like this....well in a long time.
We just got back from Orlando, Florida
Even though it wasn't in our budget to go, I saved our tax money and used that for our funds.
Why save for a rainy day? In my opinion you can't spend your money in heaven so you might as well spend it while your here on Earth. People might disagree with me but I'm ok with that.
My in laws won a free vacation so we didn't have to spend money on a hotel except for 1 night, and that was a huge savings for us.
We used friends of ours who had airline miles to fly down there and got our tickets half off, so that was another huge savings for us.
I finally had a week off of work in a very, very long time. It was a well needed vacation.
Sun was shining, I got to wear capris, sun dresses and it was very relaxing.
The day our in laws left to drive back home Kevin and I stayed an extra night and went to SeaWorld for the day.
It was the same SeaWorld where that trainer was killed by the killer whale. And it happened to be the same weekend they were having a funeral ceremony for her. Right before the show started they showed a little montage and when it was over the crowd cheered so loud, it was so awesome to hear such a great response to someone that cared so much about animals and not one single person in the audience knew her.

Kevin touching a stingray. I thought this was so cool. I of course kept freaking out about touching it and when I saw all these kid doing it I had to try it. They are so slimey, it's gross!

It's been a long time coming

2010-04-12T21:01:00.000-04:00

A vacation that is. Kevin and I will be leaving on Wednesday for a long awaited vacation. It's been 4 yrs since we've actually been on a vacation. We've gone on little weekend trips here and there but a long awaited vacation here we come! We are going to Orlando, Florida and we might go and see Mickey and Minnie, not sure yet. But we are definitely going here and here I am so excited. Not sure if the 2nd one if that's the exact one were going to but I'm beyond thrilled. I can't wait to get back and tell you all about it :)

Have a blessed week :)

Easter

2010-04-06T08:47:00.000-04:00

Easter weekend was not only busy for me but it was enjoyable. Normally holiday weekends were scrambling from house to house to see as much family as we can but this year was so much different. Saturday morning I went with my momma, sister, brother, sis in law, 2 nephews and my niece to an easter egg hunt. I used to love easter egg hunts as a kid. So my niece whose 5 I took her hand and we went right to the middle where most of the eggs where and we grabbed as many as we could. We filled her bucket about halfway and she was so proud of herself. Her brother didn't get as much as she did but he was just happy to be there :)

I have realized these past few months that spending time with family is very important. You never know what tomorrow's going to bring. I posted this in the beginning of the year on my Facebook page and I'm trying to let it sink in:

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. Time heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come..

38. When you awake alive in the morning, be thankful for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy

I agree with so many things on here. #5-Make time to pray, #11-Don't compare yourself to others. And as a photographer I do this quite often, #19-Life is to short to waste time hating anyone. So, so true. #30-What other people think of you is none of your business, I need to keep telling myself this everyday. #17-Envy is a waste of time, your already have all you need. #18-Forget issues of the past. I could keep going and going. But I have this printed up and I keep a copy with me at all times and I also have a copy on my board at my desk at work.

So here's a few images from our Easter egg hunt on Saturday.

My 2 nephews and niece.

My niece and her proud basket full of eggs :)

She's afraid of all characters including the easter bunny :(

My nephew Stefan. Look at all his teeth.

Here he is again right before we started.

Time for Change

2010-04-02T09:15:00.000-04:00

I am starting fresh with this . I want to write about things that make me happy and happenings going on in my life.

My life is very complicated. I work full time and work part time as a photographer. I absolutely love both of my jobs. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kevin and I have been together for 11 yrs, since I was a junior in high school to be exact. I had plenty of previous boyfriends and only knew Kevin for a short time before we started dating. But once we started dating, I just knew. I knew he was the one that I was going to marry. My senior year of high school I turned 18 and a few short months following that I moved out of my mom's house and moved in with Kevin and his parents. I got up and went to school everyday and had a part time job after school. I supported myself as well as help from his parents. I appreciated them both very much. I graduated high school that year and was so proud of myself. Out of everyone in my family I was the only one who graduated high school with a diploma. A year after high school I married my best friend and soulmate. I was 19 and everyone told me that I was making a mistake, that I was to young and blah, blah, blah. After hearing all the negative comments I wanted to prove them wrong. My parents were married 14 yrs before getting a divorce but Kevin's parents have been married for 33 yrs. (I think). so I know we can do it. This year May 2010 Kevin and I will be married for 9 yrs. We have had our ups and downs but honestly he is my soulmate. I can't picture my life without him and we even each other out.

That's enough taking you down memory lane.

Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!